she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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