I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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