he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize