can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
