so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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