She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
