Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize