i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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