Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
