Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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