can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
