Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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