im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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