So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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