lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
