Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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