By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
