If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
