Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
