swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
