I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Do vagina's smell?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
