Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I could make wine with my vomit
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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