people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
