You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
