I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
you never un-have a 4some
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
