Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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