thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
