morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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