if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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