Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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