we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
