I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
