At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
