went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize