pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
two words: eviction party
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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