Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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