Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
whose parrot is this?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
