Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
