Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
