margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
