I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
