I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
