That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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