I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
