Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
