did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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