Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize