He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
