I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
