we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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