you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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