If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
