Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
