I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize