I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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