Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
