I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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