I just pynch a tree in the face
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize