"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
