Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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