Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
