ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Houston, we have a squirter
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
