O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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