the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize