My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
