people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
