At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
