Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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