I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
