My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
