I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
