2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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