We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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