You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
