Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
