Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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