The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
