Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
