I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
