He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
