Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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