Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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