Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
