i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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